What makes you happy? PART 2

As I am sitting in my room awaiting Hurricane Sandy, aka Frankenstorm, I decided to grab my paint, brushes, and a blank canvas and get to expressing myself. I also started thinking about my happy list since tomorrow is a "snow day" and I get to sleep in (2 things on the first half of my list) and thought I should finish posting it.

100 things that make Mandisa happy (#51-100)
51. natural hair
52. whispers in my ear
53. kisses on my neck
54. juicy Gala apples
55. chicken - baked, fried, grilled
56. snickers bars
57. braiding hair
58. free ANYTHING
59. food samples at stores/in the mall
60. chubby funny looking kids
61. forehead kisses
62. being told I am missed
63. being held by the waist by a nice man
64. nice white smiles
65. being told I did a good job
66. feeling appreciated
67. SUNNY DAYS
68. SUMMER
69. seasoned food (food in general)
70. learning about different cultures
71. LOVE
72. seeing love around me
73. my crazy friends
74. sleepovers with friends I haven't seen in a while
75. dancing as I get dressed
76. the smile on someone's face when I surprise them
77. late night phone convos until I fall asleep
78. having an event I planned go great
79. a clean kitchen
80. the smell of clean laundry
81. a cute bathroom
82. talking to my mom
83. driving
84. the sun in my face in the morning
85. eyeshadow
86. cute nail polish and designs
87. compliments on my hair
88. my hair the day after I wash and style it
89. surprise visits
90. sweet random messages
91. seeing a child understand a concept
92. sexy dresses
93. live music performances
94. musicals
95. GLEE!!
96. the idea of having my own family
97. waking up to a nice face
98. sleeping on his chest
99. God
100. LIFE

Here's my first finished painting. 'Sankofa - Untitled' for now.

Inspired by this quote I saw on Pinterest: "I emerge from the ignorance of my past to pure overstanding of my present."

What makes you happy? PART 1

I have really been emotional lately and I am pretty sure it is because of the years of build up. I learned growing up that if something bothered me or made me sad, to not express this feeling. The only emotion I continuously expressed was anger. I used to cry a lot without a moment's notice, but somewhere between high school and college I stopped. I have only genuinely full out cried 3 times in the past 3 years. I know that can't be healthy. Thanks to a conversation with a friend tonight, I am seeing that crying does not mean you are weak and is sometimes necessary.

A few years ago I started the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program where you complete daily activities to find out what is important to you and maximize your life. (I actually started this 6 times since then and never got past day 10.) One of the activities was to list 100 things that make you happy. Lately people have been asking me what my hobbies are, what I really enjoy doing, and what truly makes me happy, and I have not been able to come up with an answer. I honestly have not been truly consistently happy for a little while now. Maybe revisiting this list and beginning to express my feelings a lot more will help.

100 things that make Mandisa happy

1. R&B music

2. shooting 3 pointers

3. jokes

4. babies making faces

5. hugs from students

6. good male company

7. late night car talks

8. bright colors

9. how I look in the mirror

10. reggae/dancehall/soca

11. Dominica

12. my crazy/interesting family

13. helping younger students

14. getting my nails done

15. funky hairstyles

16. the smell of a familiar man on my pillow

17. chocolate cake

18. margaritas

19. sweet tea vodka

20. my birthday

21. other people's birthdays

22. Fridays

23. snow days

24. going home early from work

25. making fun of my students

26. when people give me a nickname

27. happy hours

28. finding cute earrings

29. thrifting

30. little children reading books/sounding smart

31. being able to sleep in 

32. flirting

33. a good kiss

34. hearts

35. a clean smelling room

36. getting rid of clutter

37. old school hip hop

38. a good workout

39. finding a new pair of cute shoes

40. perfect pair of jeans

41. doodling during boring meetings

42. completing a puzzle/word game

43. interracial groups of friends

44. stepping

45. jumping double dutch

46. watching a good comedy film

47. teaching young people step

48. popping lipgloss

49. clean teeth

50. locs

The first 50 are listed here since I realized 100 would be a little long. Look out for part 2 of my list.

Wanna be on top?

It is October 1st. I guess I have to accept that summer is over now. That being said this past weekend was Fall Fest in Love Park and with that came my fashion show debut!! Saturday was indeed a VERY long day, but a fun and exciting one!

My eyes were opened to a little bit of what the fashion industry is like. It all felt very ANTMesque! (I've watched every episode). First there was a casting call about 3 weeks ago. I went there and did not know what to expect. I filled out a sheet with my name, age, and measurements and patiently waited for the designers to arrive. Thirty minutes later, I was still sitting waiting with 2 other girls. At that point we were just asked one by one to walk for the two designers who were there. I had no idea what to do since the only runway walking I'd done was playing around with my friends, but I put on my heels and walked for the camera. I had already done some modeling for one of the designers in the show, so I think I was an automatic pick for them.

When the final model spreadsheet was emailed out a week later including measurements and dress size, I felt big for the first time! Everyone was a size 0-4. I thought I was a 4 once, but the size 4 H&M dress I bought (that looked like it was my size) wouldn't even fit over my shoulders! This feeling got worse when I went to the model fitting and saw the other models in person. Not only were they taller than me, they were all sticks and also pretty much all had the same look. Now don't get me wrong, I love my body 97% of time, and am pretty sure I'll never be a size 4 even if I starved myself (thank my grandma's thighs and hips for that). BUT, there's something about being around 20 women who are thinner than you that'll make even a fit girl feel like Precious. I quickly realized I had been selected only for BluDahlia since they actually make clothes that fit the average woman and I wouldn't fit into any other designer's clothing.

Once I left there I swore I was going to go on a juice or fruit/veggie fast for the whole week before the show, but alas I love food way too much to do that. The night before the show I decided not to go out so I wouldn't feel nor look tired. I was supposed to be there by 9am and we weren't walking until 4:30pm so I knew it would be a long day! The day included time spent in hair and makeup by AnBrea's Beauty Salon, a lot of watching the other models try on clothing, watching the other designers collections on the runway, trying not to eat all the delicious tuna pita sandwiches, practicing my face in the mirror, and running through my walk in my head. For once I was not nervous! If you know me, you know that I get nervous about everything all the time; from a major interview to asking my dad for a dollar. This time I was fully confident that I would look fabulous, wouldn't fall and probably would walk better than some of the models who went before me who are actually represented by an agency.

Check out the pics and look out for more modeling updates from me!